A Schizophrenic’s Love Poem

I whip up two coffees

One with an extra spoon of sugar for you

I set it on the table and peer out

Through the cold glass of the window

Pulling the muffler tighter

Almost choking, I loosen it again

I see a figure striding down the driveway

I smile; it has got to be you

Though I see you clearly, I deny your existence

For they say, I see things that cannot be

I get back to my room’s dark reality

I see two coffees getting cold

I sit alone with the two cups

Waiting, waiting for you

I run my fingers along

The patterned silk of the tablecloth

You didn’t like the silk one

I change it to the white laced cover

Though I hear the creaks clearly

I deny your existence

For they say, I hear things that cannot be

I focus on the chair’s broken arm

You don’t like sitting on that one

I switch my chair for yours

I still wait with the two cups

I can’t take in its aroma now

I hear you climbing up the stairs

It won’t be long before you enter

To have a coffee gone cold waiting for you

Though I hear the squeaks of your Nike clearly

I deny your existence

For they say, I hear things that cannot be

I look at myself in the mirror

I still wear the apron with the burn mark

I remove it, lest you should feel it’s dirty

I see you enter my room

You give me that sunny smile

And as you bend down for a peck

I shut my eyes tightly

I spill the coffee

I break the mugs

And I deny your existence

For now I know, I see things that cannot be